I'm having a lot of problems with this, and would love to hear more of your thoughts on the matter!

The way I've been thinking about it is related to my long-standing struggle with the fact that slash fandom is essentially very appropriative, and often fans -- myself included at times -- will participate in that & exoticise an experience without any thought to what we're actually doing. And I'm trying to ... reconcile myself with that, and think my way through it, and am so far failing. I need to go find some meta on this topic and read it, I think. :)