magnetic_pole (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
magnetic_pole) wrote2018-09-10 08:03 pm
magnetic_pole) wrote2018-09-10 08:03 pm
Wedding bells for the Friday Five...
I went to a pop-up wedding* this weekend, so let's take a thematically appropriate set of questions from ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thefridayfive archive:
1) Do you want to get married? Already did. We did everything backward--became friends first and then started dating, moved in together and then started thinking long-term, celebrated multiple anniversaries and then decided to have a big party.
I'm not sure I ever made a conscious decision about marriage, especially since it wasn't legal for same-sex couples at the beginning of our relationship. There was no big question about love and forever-ness, only a number of logistical hurdles to overcome. We got a domestic partnership certificate from my partner's work early on (specifically in order to get health insurance), another certificate a few years later from the town we lived in (also to support a health insurance application and, less crucially, to get a library card), and a marriage license from our state when it became legal there (largely to safeguard our meager assets for the other in case of disaster, since we have hostile families). (Coincidentally, that was on 09/09/09, nine years ago yesterday.) Finally, we had a party because the better half is the type of person who didn't want to miss the opportunity for a very large, very fun party with everyone she knows.
2) Where would you like to get married? As it turned out, we had the party in our backyard, the one and only time in my life I've lived somewhere with a backyard. (Very convenient.) We put up a white tent, rented some chairs and tables, got a local Chinese Malaysian restaurant to cater a banquet, and made a dozen cakes ourselves, the night beforehand.
3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party? Hm. The same folks who showed up and helped out eight years ago, probably. A few high school friends, a few college friends, and a few more recent friends. We have one very close friend in town right now--who's planning her own second marriage for next month, coincidentally--but by and large the people we each know are scattered across the country (and in some cases have moved abroad).
4) What would your wedding colours be? We used purple, because the purple-loving better half cared and I didn't.
5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?' Not necessarily. People grow apart. I'm doing everything I can to keep this relationship working, but I recognize that even the best intentions and hardest work can't always keep two people together forever.
* Pop-up: my term, not the couples'. The decision to marry was made on a Sunday, e-mail invites were mailed out on Monday, and the guests were instructed to bring potluck items. It took place on a Saturday morning in the couple's basement apartment (tidied up and decorated with flowers) and was over by noon. So lovely and so simple! It made me happy to see how happy they were.
How are you doing, flist? Want to share wedding fantasies or stories?
thefridayfive archive:1) Do you want to get married? Already did. We did everything backward--became friends first and then started dating, moved in together and then started thinking long-term, celebrated multiple anniversaries and then decided to have a big party.
I'm not sure I ever made a conscious decision about marriage, especially since it wasn't legal for same-sex couples at the beginning of our relationship. There was no big question about love and forever-ness, only a number of logistical hurdles to overcome. We got a domestic partnership certificate from my partner's work early on (specifically in order to get health insurance), another certificate a few years later from the town we lived in (also to support a health insurance application and, less crucially, to get a library card), and a marriage license from our state when it became legal there (largely to safeguard our meager assets for the other in case of disaster, since we have hostile families). (Coincidentally, that was on 09/09/09, nine years ago yesterday.) Finally, we had a party because the better half is the type of person who didn't want to miss the opportunity for a very large, very fun party with everyone she knows.
2) Where would you like to get married? As it turned out, we had the party in our backyard, the one and only time in my life I've lived somewhere with a backyard. (Very convenient.) We put up a white tent, rented some chairs and tables, got a local Chinese Malaysian restaurant to cater a banquet, and made a dozen cakes ourselves, the night beforehand.
3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party? Hm. The same folks who showed up and helped out eight years ago, probably. A few high school friends, a few college friends, and a few more recent friends. We have one very close friend in town right now--who's planning her own second marriage for next month, coincidentally--but by and large the people we each know are scattered across the country (and in some cases have moved abroad).
4) What would your wedding colours be? We used purple, because the purple-loving better half cared and I didn't.
5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?' Not necessarily. People grow apart. I'm doing everything I can to keep this relationship working, but I recognize that even the best intentions and hardest work can't always keep two people together forever.
* Pop-up: my term, not the couples'. The decision to marry was made on a Sunday, e-mail invites were mailed out on Monday, and the guests were instructed to bring potluck items. It took place on a Saturday morning in the couple's basement apartment (tidied up and decorated with flowers) and was over by noon. So lovely and so simple! It made me happy to see how happy they were.
How are you doing, flist? Want to share wedding fantasies or stories?
no subject
I've forgotten both events in friends lives and where my keys are, so you're a step ahead of me! I had a dream the other night that we went to visit you again and we had to catch up on everything all over again because I'd forgotten. :( Oddly, Floyd was also a kitten. M.
no subject
My brain likes to latch onto bits of information - not birthdays, it's terrible at birthdays - and then I have to gauge who I am talking to as to whether they are going to appreciate my brain reminding me that they've already told me the funny, but not really worth keeping hold of for all time, story about falling in a pond as a kid. I nod along to lots of stories I've heard before because they have no reason to expect that I will have remembered an off the cuff comment, and if I do let them know I've remembered they think I'm weirdly more invested in them than I am. I do a good line in feigning that I only remember half a story and going "oh, is that the thing where you went to the wrong underground station? Or am I thinking of someone else?" when I know full well that it was them and they went to the wrong underground station and then they fell over and skinned their knee and this all happened eighteen years ago when neither of us knew each other.
Hah! That's a great dream!