The Friday Five dress to impress...

[magnetic_pole]

Big thanks to write_out who plumbed thefridayfive for some questions from their archives. I'll put a textbox at the end if you'd like to play along. I'd love to read your replies!

1. Have you ever done something awful to your hair? What happened?

When I was about 12, my mother (who always wanted me better dressed and better made-up) bullied me into getting feathered bangs for a few years (bad 80s moment), but otherwise, I haven't ever done much with my hair. On a good day, my hair's clean and relatively tidy. I try not to have too many bad days.

2. Conversely, at what time in your life have you looked your best?

Summers! Because I'm warm and happy and (I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do) not so pale. And days when I wear my favorite geometric pattern shirts. I really like geometric patterns.

3. Do you have a favorite article of clothing? Tell us what and why.

Many years ago I spent a magical day wandering around Providence, Rhode Island, buying Italian pastries and stopping in bookstores. Late in the day, books and pastries in hand, I ran across a yard sale and saw two long-sleeved men's athletic shirts, one grey, one sage green, with "Rhode Island School of Design" written across the front. They tickled my sense of humor, because RISD is an independent art and design school with no athletic program to speak of and relatively few gym bunnies, so who exactly was the intended market for these athletic shirts? Students' families, when they came to visit? But while I was looking at them and puzzling over this problem, the very friendly man running the yard sale came over and asked, "Do you want to buy them? Only fifty cents each." Who was I to say no to these quirky shirts that cost only a fraction of the price of a cannoli? I've had them for about fifteen years now, and they've kept me warm during during countless chilly runs and on many lazy Saturdays.

4. Confess the worst fashion trend you ever succumbed to.

I'm not very trendy, but I'm sure I've committed many terrible fashion missteps. Hm.... Aha! I had to wear a fancy dress to my brother's wedding (I'm not big on dresses) and so I turned to a friend for advice on the occasion. She approved my choice, but later when she saw photos of the wedding, she groaned. "Those shoes were totally inappropriate!" I looked. I'd been wearing the only pair of sandals I owned at the time, dug out of a box when I realized, on the morning of the wedding, I hadn't thought about what shoes to wear. "What should I have worn?" I asked. She told me. "So after spending all that money on a dress I was never going to wear again, I needed to spend more money on shoes I was never going to wear again?" "Exactly," she said. "I can't believe I needed to tell you that." "No one was looking at my feet," I said. She rolled her eyes.

5. Are there any clothing/fashion trends today that you simply don't understand?

I honestly don't know how jeans are supposed to work. (Or pants/trousers, for that matter, but mostly I wear jeans.) Nothing seems designed to fit actual bodies! I have several pairs, each of which fits me well in one specific way (long enough, wide enough at the hips, tight enough at the waist, generous enough in the thigh), but sadly none satisfies all the relevant criteria.

<b>1. Have you ever done something awful to your hair? What happened?</b> <b>2. Conversely, at what time in your life have you looked your best?</b> <b>3. Do you have a favorite article of clothing? Tell us what and why.</b> <b>4. Confess the worst fashion trend you ever succumbed to.</b> <b>5. Are there any clothing/fashion trends today that you simply don't understand?</b>

Comments

[ancientreader]

I am absolutely with you on jeans. If they're big enough in the legs, they bag at the waist. If they're supposed to sit below the waist, they invariably start sliding down my butt and I have to drag them back up every five minutes.

I also do not really understand about spandex, or stretch generally, at least not in clothes meant to be worn in the summertime. Am I the only person in the world to have noticed that even 1% of stretch in the fabric will make it completely unbreathable? Summertime is for loose-fitting linen and cotton trousers and shorts, JFC.

Also, in my day we walked barefoot to school, in the snow, and it was five miles uphill each way.

[magnetic_pole]

Re: jeans, as I said to TRS below, who are these things supposed to fit? Because I'm constantly on the lookout for jeans that fit better, and I rarely have any success. And my body type isn't *that* uncommon!

Re: unbreathable clothes, ugh. Agreed. But I think they fall in the same category as a lot of cute-but-flimsy shoes I see in the store: they're aimed at people who live and work in air conditioned buildings and don't do much walking in between. (Which was definitely the case in the newer parts of suburban southern California when I was growing up.) I suppose it makes sense that style would trump breathability or sturdiness if you're not outside much or sweating in older buildings.

(Ugh, "trump," sorry. One of the many tiny annoyances of the post 2016 world is that I've discovered I've really got to stop using the word "trump.") M.

[ancientreader]

Ugh, yes, AC + never walking anywhere. Of course that's it -- but I live in NYC and here we walk, Goddammit.

Re: "trump." I know, it drives me nuts. Also "huge."

[magnetic_pole]

And "sad." His damn vocabulary's so small and so often-used it's like he owns it. Ugh. M.

P.S. Delighted to see you're doing Holmestice again!

[ancientreader]

Oh, that's exactly right -- he has such a small budget of words, and all of them now sound like his voice in one's head.

Thank you about Holmestice! TBH I am still not 100% sure I won't delete my sign-up. I have three WiPs going -- well, one of them I should finish in the next two or three days -- and have been poking away at research for an original novel for a couple of years now; I'd sort of like to get going on that already. But I've done I think seven rounds of Holmestice so far? So the thought of taking a pass is painful.

[magnetic_pole]

Three WiPs? *scoffs* That's nothing. :) Holmestice will be a breeze!

More seriously, do stay in the mix! I've read your fics for most of those seven rounds and would miss your contribution this time around. M.

[ancientreader]

Oh, flattery, how I love it! Well, once I get the SmutSwap fic done, I expect I'll feel a bit less squeezed. And -- also more seriously -- thank you: it means a lot to me to hear that someone enjoys my fics.

[jesse_the_k]

Here for more flattery. I love your work!

[ancientreader]

Aw thanks! I swear I wasn't fishing!

[magnetic_pole]

I enjoy them very much indeed. :) M.

[delphi]

Ooh, I may have to borrow this one. I especially laughed at your answers to #1 (pictures may exist of me as a small child in the '80s with a teased and hairsprayed side ponytail the size of my head) and #4 (I had the very same thought process: "Wait, she was supposed to get new shoes too?")

[magnetic_pole]

Oh my word, hairspray. Honestly, I think my hair got more attention during a few years in the 80s than it has in all the years since. It was a bad confluence of high-maintenance styles and adolescence.

Aw, tiny D. *pats her on the crispy little head* Isn't being a grown up SO MUCH BETTER?

Re: shoes: seriously! What a headache. That whole experience was a little traumatic. In fact, I don't think I've worn a dress since. Hm. Well, he got the wedding photos he wanted, and I think by this point I'm done with being in wedding parties, and I can wear jeans or slacks for the rest of my life, if I want. Yay! M.

[therealsnape]

So with you on the jeans. I've simply stopped buying them. They're supposed to be really comfy clothes, and they just don't work.

[magnetic_pole]

They really don't, do they? There must be 10,000 different brands and varieties in the stores here, and none of them seem to be aimed at my body type, which isn't *that* uncommon. *sigh* And then when you finally find a pair that fits, you want to order ten more so you never run out. :) M.

[secretsolitaire]

I have been buying the exact same Old Navy jeans for years and years now because it's the only pair that fits comfortably! God help me if they ever stop making them.

[magnetic_pole]

Hee! I tend to buy the same thing over and over and get so frustrated when they change things (material, size) without any sign! I hope Old Navy never changes its ways with your jeans. M.

[write_out]

I love that you've had those shirts for 15 years. When you find a comfy, long-sleeve shirt like that, you hang on to it for as long as you can!

I have some shirts like that I would never wear in public anymore, but they're perfect for at home. I have a thing about the sleeves being truly long and not stopping just above the wrist. When I find a shirt that fits properly, I'm going to wear it until it falls apart on me. And yes, they're usually men's shirts. I guess designers think women have short arms??? :|

Laughing about the dress and shoes. What a pain, eh? The only dress I've worn in the last 17 years has been my wedding dress, so I hear you on that. I don't even remember the last time I wore a skirt. Do you wear skirts?

Finding pants that fit properly is incredibly difficult and frustrating. No two pairs fit alike. GRRR

[magnetic_pole]

Not only have I had them for 15 years, they still look at good as they did when I got them! (Which is to say, not perfect, but totally serviceable.) Yay! You're so right about holding only good items.

I love these long sleeves, too--they're long enough to wrap around your hands when you're cold and forgot your mittens.

Men's shirts are the best. Women's clothing is generally a nightmare, ugh. I wish we'd never given on the unisex clothing of the 70s.

You know, I haven't been wearing skirts recently, either. I went through a stage in my twenties when I wore a lot of short skirts with tights (which is not especially flattering, since I have wide hips, but I think they reminded me of shorts, and I actually really like wearing tights in the winter). Then I just...stopped. Not sure why. I put on a little weight in my thirties, I suppose, and outgrew the skirts faster than the jeans. Mostly I really like the pockets in jeans, though. What about you?

Fun meme--thanks for bringing this one out of the archives! M.

[jesse_the_k]

Most excellent meme, which I'm borrowing.

Jeans? They're designed to fit very fit young men, ages 13 - 19, working in the mines.

That's why I'm never wearing them again. I'm a big fan of jersey pants, myself. One of the perks of disability/retirement: I can look like exactly myself.

[magnetic_pole]

One of the perks of disability/retirement: I can look like exactly myself.

YAY! Getting older is good in so many ways.

The thing is that I love the pockets in jeans (and need good pockets, since I don't carry a bag). I wish someone would re-design them with me and big hips in mind.

Glad you enjoyed the meme! I enjoyed reading your reply, too. M.

[jentlespirit]

RE #5: One of my friends was doing "No Pants November" and living in skirts and dresses. And she had the advantage being in LA, but I nearly always wear leggings anyway, so I decided I could make it work....and then November ended and I didn't stop. I have not work jeans/trousers since October, and I have no regrets. (Sometimes pajamas/sweat pants for laundry and lazy days at home, but not for out in public.)